My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
