In the future we'll all be gay
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
