i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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