he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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