So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
