It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is classic penis vs brain.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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