How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He shit in the fireplace
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
