his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
