Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
