I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
