I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
