I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Im part way to drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
