I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
