If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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