Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
