my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
