I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
