Do you still have your period?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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