I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
