This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
