Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
