I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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