Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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