well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
