I want to have your abortion
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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