Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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