Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
