I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
