brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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