Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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