But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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