so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
