dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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