Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
