cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
