Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
