Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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