Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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