Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
