you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
