wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
