make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
