i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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