so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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