first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
