made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
