I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
