I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need moral support for this bender
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
