pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
where am i from again
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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