are you still at the devil's house?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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