I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
